I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
