Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize