It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
