i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Panties = found
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
