He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
