look no pants
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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