So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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