i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
