And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
