Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
did i walk over a car last night?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
