I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
