Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
