also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
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