I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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