Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize