I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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