you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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