just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
