he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
