Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
