1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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