I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
