I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
