I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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