I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
