Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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