I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
