Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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