Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
