there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
