Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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