You work out of a Hotel?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize