If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
