and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
