i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
