Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
