That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
