I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
