alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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