TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
