she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize