well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
