I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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