Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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