Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Small penises have feelings too.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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