you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
