anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
