So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Let's paint friendship bongs
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i now understand why vodka
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
