shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
