i don't plan on having that self control this summer
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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