it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
