Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize