Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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