Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
wow bdsm is so cute
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