That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
