"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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