Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
