I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Randomize
