You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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