the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
