i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I think i got beer on your cat.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
