yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
