SEEEEXXX PLEASE
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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