too bad you live with your parents still
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
