I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
