I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
