Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
