You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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