I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
